When It Comes I Wanna Wail, KALE! Blues Clues Referece?
Oh childhood…
But actually this post is about my newfound affection for Kale.
I’m sure many have heard of Kale before, but have actively disregarded sampling, or even remembering it after hearing it was a “leafy vegetable.” Well, I have been there…sneering at the prospect that some “leafy vegetable” actually didn’t taste like bitter ass. It brought me back to the time that a friend whipped out a huge celery stalk, proclaiming “I LOVE CELERY” and angrily chomped away while everyone else ate popcorn…only for us to later find out she was secretly on the Cabbage Soup Diet. And that other time that a friend swore that steamed broccoli tasted SO much better with General Tso’s Chicken. Come come now, please do not take me for a fool.
Stop lying to us, kid...I can still see the pain in your eyes.
So why should you believe me? Because today, I actively told someone that I wished kale could replace chips. This even caught me off guard, because over the years I have come to grips with the fact that I possess a borderline frightening love for crispy, salty, versatile, decadent chips. My love affair aside, this ready acceptance of kale into my circle of trust warranted immediate attention.
Kale is indeed a dark-green leafed vegetable. It is a type of cabbage from a similar genetic group as collard greens, broccoli, and our ever beloved brussel sprouts.
Kale...posing as the Smoke Monster in Lost.
It is rich in Vitamin K (good for bones), Vitamin C (good for immune system), Lutein (good for eyes), Zeaxanthin (also good for eyes) & beta-Carotene, which as as a part of the family of nutrients belonging to Vitamin A is (also good for the eyes…but similar to carrots, can turn your skin orange).
Blame it on the BBBBBBeta-Carotene?
Kale has been making some surprise celebrity cameos in my life recently, likely because I have been meandering through the more quintessentially hipster parts of town. Nonetheless, here are the top three of my recent samplings:
1. Brad’s Raw Leafy Kale from Brad’s Raw Foods
Suggested Flavor: VAMPIRE KILLER w/ Garlic & Vegan Cheese
Brad's Raw Leafy Kale "Naked" Chips
These crunchy little vegan morsels are all natural, gluten-free, not baked OR fried. This kale is actually dehydrated below 115 degrees, which unlike other production methods, helps the kale to retain its enzymes and nutrients. I grabbed mine at my local Whole Foods.
2. Amy Hamberry’s Kale Chip Factory Kale Chips
Suggested Flavor: Chocolate Chipotle
Amy with a batch of her Kale
I picked these up at Urban Rustic in Williamsburg post-haircut at Mousy Brown with a friend of mine. Amy, once a kindergarden teacher, really stumbled into the business by meeting the love of her life at the Park Slope Food Co-Op. Now she is the proud owner of a 750 square-foot solar-powered warehouse space in Crown Heights Brooklyn, where she, similar to Brad, dehydrates and spices up her kale with unique and contrasting flavors. No website or major grocer deal yet, but can be found at the Park Slope Food Co-op & New York Naturals. Speaking of which…
3. New York Natural’s Raw Vegan Kale Chips
Suggested Flavor: Bombay Ranch
Bombay Ranch Lookin' Fly
New York Natural’s got this down to a science. As New York Magazine has said, these kale chips are “Doritos for health nuts.” Air-drying seems to be the perfect approach–at 115 degrees for up to fifteen hours, product yields delectably crispy raw vegan wafers coated in nutty, spicy, and even fruity flavors.
And what makes all three of these options even better? They are all locally grown and distributed!
Now, I am obviously limiting myself to kale as a crispy snack. Kale can also be used in a multitude of recipes-but when you have a kitchen coated in boric acid in order to avoid roach infestation, sometimes culinary experiments must be put on pause. But if you want to be bold, check out this soup that my girl @juliabbennett made just last night:
Krafty Kale, trying to disguise itself as Spinach!
To conclude, it is bold to say kale can replace the power of the chip. But it is safe to say it is a healthy, sustainable alternative. Try out any of these given brands or flavors, and feel free to share recipe’s & other kale adventures with me @hendobear18!
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